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Don't take it personally

The moment you step out into the world and interact with others your actions and you will be judged. Both positively and negatively. Either way, there's not much you can do about it once you hear those comments afterward. What's done is done, right? Yes, but why do we get defensive when faced with negative comments and worry so much about what people may think?

The need to justify yourself is a bad feeling which only affects you in negative ways. It creates conflicts with others and increases anxiety level. Why do we feel the need to justify our actions?

There are many reasons but the biggest contributing reason is low self-esteem. If you find yourself being defensive, try to see why and most of the time you'll find that need to be understood and accepted by others. It's a very common reaction and in fact, acceptance is sought by everyone.

The cure is simple in the case of low self-esteem when facing reactions from actions you have done. Simply do the following...

Do your best with good intentions. Then forget the rest.

If you know you've done your best, no comments on your efforts can bother you because you've done all you could. Remember a time when you became very defensive and chances are that you defended something you know you could have done better.

Next part is with act good intentions. Same principle as above, if you know that within your knowledge you did all you did with good intention then no comments on your motives or plan can touch you.

Finally, forget the rest. The important thing is to act, no action is going to please everyone. From the start, know this truth. It will liberate you from anything that may arise later.

As a final word, remember that others are allowed their opinions. Most of the time these opinions are not meant to harm you but to help you become better. Remember they're just that, opinions. You decide what to do with them. One thing's sure, they won't bother you anymore.

Jun 22, 2017 | comment Comment

More on blank canvas

If there's one skill everyone should work on consistently is to learn to start from a blank page. We all have the required creativity in us to create outstanding things but we are scared to create. Instead, we use templates or copy from somebody else (with minor adjustments of course) because it feels safe. Safe because if what we produce fails then it's not really our creation. Our fault.

The problem is that it cannot truly succeed either. In order to make a difference, you have to create. And the best way to create is to start with a blank canvas.

Gather information, read, watch, and observe from as many sources as you can and then put it all together in your own personal way.

Set forth on your own journey.

Create your own life, not someone else's life.

Jun 19, 2017 | comment Comment

Starting from a blank canvas

One of the great skill to learn in the 21st century is the ability to start from a blank canvas. Meaning, doing your own thinking. Every great innovations during the last 15 years were born from completely new ideas which disrupted the status quo.

Leaders of the 21st century are those with the ability to construct new ideas from emerging technologies and connections.

Make it a habit of exploring and developing your own ideas. Sure, look around for inspiration but start from a blank slate.

To practice your creativity, instead of reading blog posts of top 6 rules for happiness or 8 ways to lose weight. Make up your own lists. You'll be surprise to often end up with better lists than the ones you find on the web.

May 16, 2017 | comment Comment

Reacting to positive feedback

Small gestures get recognize. When someone around you does a little something special for you, I sure hope you thank them for their attention and service.

Other times you do those little things for others and receive that little praise. Bizarrely, we often don't know how to respond to that kind of positive feedback.

May 11, 2017 | comment Comment

Your narrative is up to you

The story other people tell about you is none of your business. It's never going to be a true story because no one knows you like you do. But...

May 4, 2017 | comment Comment

Quit before you start

Starting new projects or endeavors is fun. We get all excited about what we can accomplish and how exciting it'll be once we've completed our new project. After a while things get a little complicated and our little project doesn't go as planned and then...

May 1, 2017 | comment Comment

Attack the problem, not the symptom

Things go wrong all the time. We see it around us, at work, at home, everywhere. Life would be boring without problems. Fixing them is fun and rewarding but...

Apr 25, 2017 | comment Comment

You are enough but...

...but you can be so much more.

Such a bad advice to tell someone they're enough.

What a waste it would be to stop where you are because you think you are enough.

Apr 24, 2017 | comment Comment

Practice uncomfortable

There's only one way to grow and that's to get uncomfortable.

There's really only three ways to live. We're either moving forward, standing still or falling backward.

Apr 19, 2017 | comment Comment

Wisdom and Power of Simplicity

Everything is simple.

The greatest wisdom comes from understanding the simplicity of the things that surrounds us.

Apr 13, 2017 | comment Comment

Two false assumptions about improvement

There are two negative reactions I often see when people talk about improving their life.

First is the assumption that people who wants to improve are unhappy with themselves. Improvement shouldn't be seen as an attempt to get ourselves out of an unwanted place. It's the joy of improving and getting better which makes humans happy. There's a sense of joy which comes out of accomplishments.

Apr 11, 2017 | comment Comment

Focus - A lost art

Nowadays focus is becoming harder and harder to reach. We have distractions all around us fighting for our attention. How to find focus with so much noise around us?

The first thing to do in order to achieve focus is to prioritize yourself. To find ways to disconnect, you need to let go of the world around you.

Apr 5, 2017 | comment Comment

Passion of how

There are many ways to find passion in your life. Not just what you do.

One sort of passion which can be found in anything and everything you do is the passion of how.

Apr 4, 2017 | comment Comment

What you don't do matters

We focus on doing.

When asked the things we're proud of we often respond with all things we did.

But the things we didn't do are often of greater help to our happiness than the things we did.

Apr 3, 2017 | comment Comment

Destroying apprehension

After a discussion with Emilie, my life partner, this morning we concluded that many people live in fear of apprehension. But most of the time this fear is caused by their own doing.

Mostly because of dishonesty. With ourselves and others.

Apr 2, 2017 | comment Comment

You First

f you love those around you, take care of yourself.

How best can you serve them other than by being the best person you can possibly be?

Apr 1, 2017 | comment Comment

Taking care of the small things

Think about small things that others do which makes your life easier. Is there someone at work who always changes the printer paper before it runs out? Someone at home who tidy up the mail from the dinner table?

Mar 30, 2017 | comment Comment

Books vs Summaries or Blog Posts

Why read a book that can be summarized in a few paragraphs?

This is a very good question considering we all have a very limited amount of time. Why read a book when you can...

Mar 29, 2017 | comment Comment

Philosophy of Excellence

A philosophy of excellence is when a person seeks excellence in themselves and their environment.

Seeking excellence is to consciously be aware of the small details which makes everything a little better.

Mar 28, 2017 | comment Comment

Are you a spectator or a player?

Twenty people on the field and eighty thousand in the stands. The spectators are the ones who paid to watch, but it's the players on the field who are truly alive.

-Seth Godin, Icarus Deception

Mar 27, 2017 | comment Comment