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The moment you step out into the world and interact with others your actions and you will be judged. Both positively and negatively. Either way, there's not much you can do about it once you hear those comments afterward. What's done is done, right? Yes, but why do we get defensive when faced with negative comments and worry so much about what people may think?
The need to justify yourself is a bad feeling which only affects you in negative ways. It creates conflicts with others and increases anxiety level. Why do we feel the need to justify our actions?
There are many reasons but the biggest contributing reason is low self-esteem. If you find yourself being defensive, try to see why and most of the time you'll find that need to be understood and accepted by others. It's a very common reaction and in fact, acceptance is sought by everyone.
The cure is simple in the case of low self-esteem when facing reactions from actions you have done. Simply do the following...
Do your best with good intentions. Then forget the rest.
If you know you've done your best, no comments on your efforts can bother you because you've done all you could. Remember a time when you became very defensive and chances are that you defended something you know you could have done better.
Next part is with act good intentions. Same principle as above, if you know that within your knowledge you did all you did with good intention then no comments on your motives or plan can touch you.
Finally, forget the rest. The important thing is to act, no action is going to please everyone. From the start, know this truth. It will liberate you from anything that may arise later.
As a final word, remember that others are allowed their opinions. Most of the time these opinions are not meant to harm you but to help you become better. Remember they're just that, opinions. You decide what to do with them. One thing's sure, they won't bother you anymore.
If there's one skill everyone should work on consistently is to learn to start from a blank page. We all have the required creativity in us to create outstanding things but we are scared to create. Instead, we use templates or copy from somebody else (with minor adjustments of course) because it feels safe. Safe because if what we produce fails then it's not really our creation. Our fault.
The problem is that it cannot truly succeed either. In order to make a difference, you have to create. And the best way to create is to start with a blank canvas.
Gather information, read, watch, and observe from as many sources as you can and then put it all together in your own personal way.
Set forth on your own journey.
Create your own life, not someone else's life.
One of the great skill to learn in the 21st century is the ability to start from a blank canvas. Meaning, doing your own thinking. Every great innovations during the last 15 years were born from completely new ideas which disrupted the status quo.
Leaders of the 21st century are those with the ability to construct new ideas from emerging technologies and connections.
Make it a habit of exploring and developing your own ideas. Sure, look around for inspiration but start from a blank slate.
To practice your creativity, instead of reading blog posts of top 6 rules for happiness or 8 ways to lose weight. Make up your own lists. You'll be surprise to often end up with better lists than the ones you find on the web.
Small gestures get recognize. When someone around you does a little something special for you, I sure hope you thank them for their attention and service.
Other times you do those little things for others and receive that little praise. Bizarrely, we often don't know how to respond to that kind of positive feedback.
Starting new projects or endeavors is fun. We get all excited about what we can accomplish and how exciting it'll be once we've completed our new project. After a while things get a little complicated and our little project doesn't go as planned and then...
There are two negative reactions I often see when people talk about improving their life.
First is the assumption that people who wants to improve are unhappy with themselves. Improvement shouldn't be seen as an attempt to get ourselves out of an unwanted place. It's the joy of improving and getting better which makes humans happy. There's a sense of joy which comes out of accomplishments.
Nowadays focus is becoming harder and harder to reach. We have distractions all around us fighting for our attention. How to find focus with so much noise around us?
The first thing to do in order to achieve focus is to prioritize yourself. To find ways to disconnect, you need to let go of the world around you.
After a discussion with Emilie, my life partner, this morning we concluded that many people live in fear of apprehension. But most of the time this fear is caused by their own doing.
Mostly because of dishonesty. With ourselves and others.