Do not read...
We all have highs and lows surrounded by ordinary living. We'd go crazy if we would always stay in either highs or lows. But many times, wouldn't it be great to be able to simply switch to your happy state, or focused state?
There are techniques for that. But before you can use any techniques to bring back any state or emotions, you first need to know how it feels to be in that state. You can't make this up. No matter how hard you try, you'll never really know how it feels to stand on the top of Mount Everest until you stand on top of Mount Everest.
Here are three things everyone should start to do
- Experience more
- Pay close attention to how you are feeling, especially when you feel great
- Take notes about those great experiences so that you can remember them and come back to them
For example, in my last article I discussed how passionate I was about my woodworking projects. This is a state I want to remember and will most probably come back to later.
Your subconscious mind works in a very interesting way. It's the part of you which guides where your attention goes when you don't pay attention. That is most of the time.
That's a lot of power given to the part of your mind you don't control. Or can you have control over it?
Let me show you with a personal story happening to me right now. In this very moment, I'm deeply excited about a woodworking project that I'm starting. I've watched videos, read tips and tricks, and looked at many ideas online and in stores. Most of my attention, voluntary attention, as gone to woodworking the past days.
So here's what happened.
Yesterday, it seems my subconscious caught up on what I wanted to focus on. Every time during the day that my conscious attention was going away, which is perfectly normal for everyone to drift away from consciousness every once in a while, my subconscious mind would attempt to guide my actions towards learning more about my woodworking project. For example, I'd needed to do a search on Google and you know the infinitely long 9 seconds it takes to open the browser and go to Google, that small lapse of time is just enough time to disconnect the conscious thinking. Your body is designed to save energy and conscious thinking takes up a lot of energy. So after waiting for eternity, a.k.a. 9 seconds, my subconscious mind takes over and types "DIY Woodworking Ideas" in the search box. It's only 10 minutes later that my conscious mind finally wakes up and says "Wait a minute, wasn't I supposed to search for something when I opened Google?"
It's a long story and you were probably screaming "WAKE UP!" at me. Of course, to you, it seemed like my mind was totally controlling me and I was day dreaming or something. You're most probably not into woodworking right now, my subconscious actions look bizarre and possibly dumb from your perspective.
I got engulfed in the woodworking search because that's what my general focus has been. The good thing is that it's a positive learning habit that I am happy my subconscious mind helps me with at the moment.
But the subconscious mind doesn't care about positive or negative habits. It only cares about guiding you where you want your attention to go.
What if you always put your attention on negative habits, like checking Social Media or worst gossiping or even worst complaining? What will your subconscious have you do when you drift away from consciousness, which we all do all the time?
The things you decide to consciously pay attention to greatly affect your subconscious and your future. Watch negative news and you'll see negativity everywhere. Read on celebrity gossips and you'll be seeking the same drama in your life. So be careful.
As Earl Nightingale puts it.
We become what we think about.
There's a hidden meaning in genuine apologies whether you receive them or give them.
The act itself is noble, you did something you feel was wrong which may have hurt someone hence you apologize.
But that's only the surface reason for an apology.
Underneath, the foremost factor which made you think about apologizing was that you cared for the other person enough to worry about how they are feeling.
So when someone apologizes to you for anything they have done, thank them happily for caring enough about you to worry about how you feel and thinking about you outside of your regular environment. A sincere apology is crafted when the mind is at peace, usually at night or during a moment of solitude.
And also, don't hold back on apologies yourself. Even if sometimes you feel the other person may not mind or doesn't seem bothered. They may be bothered without showing any signs. But foremost, the gesture that you care is worth even more.
The moment you step out into the world and interact with others your actions and you will be judged. Both positively and negatively. Either way, there's not much you can do about it once you hear those comments afterward. What's done is done, right? Yes, but why do we get defensive when faced with negative comments and worry so much about what people may think?
The need to justify yourself is a bad feeling which only affects you in negative ways. It creates conflicts with others and increases anxiety level. Why do we feel the need to justify our actions?
There are many reasons but the biggest contributing reason is low self-esteem. If you find yourself being defensive, try to see why and most of the time you'll find that need to be understood and accepted by others. It's a very common reaction and in fact, acceptance is sought by everyone.
The cure is simple in the case of low self-esteem when facing reactions from actions you have done. Simply do the following...
Do your best with good intentions. Then forget the rest.
If you know you've done your best, no comments on your efforts can bother you because you've done all you could. Remember a time when you became very defensive and chances are that you defended something you know you could have done better.
Next part is with act good intentions. Same principle as above, if you know that within your knowledge you did all you did with good intention then no comments on your motives or plan can touch you.
Finally, forget the rest. The important thing is to act, no action is going to please everyone. From the start, know this truth. It will liberate you from anything that may arise later.
As a final word, remember that others are allowed their opinions. Most of the time these opinions are not meant to harm you but to help you become better. Remember they're just that, opinions. You decide what to do with them. One thing's sure, they won't bother you anymore.